This Motherhood Journey

Life In Limbo – When Everything Is Uncertain

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This is not the post I intended to publish today. I had a fun travel one written and ready to go (it is Travel Tuesday), but I’ve got to get out some of my frustrations and this is my space to do so. Lucky for you, you get to read about it!

I feel like we’re living life in limbo right now. I’ve got three kids in a two bedroom townhouse without a yard. I’ve got a four month old baby who is fighting sleep both day and night, and two boys who need to learn to listen to what they’re told. It’s pouring outside, and taking three littles out to play in the rain is quite an undertaking; especially when we have to stay close to a potty for our oldest.

Our house to taking longer than expected. This is totally normal when you build from scratch and it’s no ones fault, it’s just reality. We’ve been told that we’ll have our permit in the next week and then things will actually start rolling, but it’s pushed our move in date back. The market is hot and we’d like to sell this place ASAP, but we couldn’t even rent in the mean time, because no one wants a renter with an undisclosed move out date.

We’re between churches. We’ve loved being a part of Village Church for the past three years, but we’re caught between visiting and supporting the new church out in Mission and attending and supporting the church we’re currently at. We’re caught between investing in relationships where we currently are and focusing on new ones. It’s hard and makes you feel isolated and alone. We feel like we don’t really have either.

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We need a vacation. We have plans to travel this year, but everything is up in the air in regards to a timeline. We’re caught between waiting and hoping certain opportunities come up and making our own plans. Quebec, Disney, Hawaii… all possible locations, but the when isn’t decided. If I at least knew which would happen first, I could involve myself in planning it.

We’ve had so much illness in this house that we’ve barely been living life for the last month. I feel frustrated. I feel stuck. I can’t get ahead on what I want to get ahead on (refer back to baby not sleeping…) and I can’t distract myself with plans, because I have no idea what’s happening when.

I need some inspiration. I need some distraction. I’m grateful for this life and our family, but I want to do more. I want to be more. I want to explore. I hate living life in limbo. I need these dark days of winter to move on and for Spring to come with it’s sunshine and light.

I hope I’m making sense. I’m thankful for those who come along side me and remind me that this is a temporary feeling. Sometimes I just need to vent my frustration. Exhale… this too shall pass.

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One Comment

  • Esther

    Carolyn these seasons can be hard but know that there is a purpose we may not see right now in all of these situations. If nothing else you can be assured that it is teaching you how to trust God for the outcome. I’m reminded of Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good”. Waiting is hard but trusting Him brings peace.

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