The problem with promoting self-care

Why We Need To Be Careful About Promoting Self-Care

The newest thing in the Mothering world these days is the idea of self-care. While I agree with the concept of taking care of ourselves, I don’t believe that focusing on ‘me first’ is a healthy outlook.

Self-care is the concept of making sure your ‘tank’ is full, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. The fact is, if you’re drained, how can you properly care for others? Taking care of yourself is very important!

Here’s the problem… many of us are looking at self-care all wrong. Self-care is not needing a week long vacation away from the kids. It’s not an excuse to run out the door and leave my husband with the kids whenever I can get away with it. And it’s not spending hundreds of dollars on fancy gifts for ourselves because we ‘deserve’ it.

Proper self-care is fairly basic. It’s getting enough sleep, eating well and staying hydrated. It’s spending time with those you love and nourishing your relationships. And it’s finding a hobby that fulfills you beyond your regular daily duties.

The problem with promoting self-care
Like kids, taking care of a dog is a lot of work. It’s work that sometimes makes me wish that I didn’t need to do it. But I believe that seeing and feeding the needs of others makes for a more well-rounded life.

The problem I have with this new self-care trend is the focus on me, me, me, and I’m no less immune to it than anyone else. Thanks to social media’s constant ability to be in-your-face, it’s easy to begin thinking about what we deserve.

I don’t believe anyone was ever happier in life by focusing on themselves or material things. In fact, it’s a known thing that those who give tend to be happier than those who get. But this society, guys? It’s not sending that message.

Moms, you don’t need to feel guilty for buying yourself a new outfit. Spending an hour of time reading in the afternoon while your kids play should not make you feel guilty. Catching the latest flick in theatres on a Tuesday night with your girls is awesome. These things are healthy, but please, let’s not get carried away. We need to try and stay away from the ‘I deserve this’ motto.

Self-care is about leading a healthy life so that we can be recharged to do what we need to do so that we can help others. It’s about living, laughing, and loving. And it has nothing to do with materialism.



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